From Daily Reflections 19 September;
We admitted we couldn’t lick alcohol with our own remaining resources, and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a Higher Power (if only our A.A. group) could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to accept these facts fully, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun. (As Bill Sees It, page 109)
Freedom came to me only with my acceptance that I could turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power, whom I call God. Serenity seeped into the chaos of my life when I accepted that what I was going through was life, and that God would help me through my difficulties – and much more, as well. Since then He has helped me through all of my difficulties! When I accept situations as they are, not as I wish them to be, then I can begin to grow and have serenity and peace of mind.
END OF QUOTE
I responded to the chaos storms of my life by installing an internal panic button in my psyche. Any indication, any overhead shadow, could cause me to sound the internal alarm. The other boot of an angry, cruel God of the human cockroach was about to drop. If good things happened, I knew I should not let down my guard, for life was just softening me up so that the inevitable tragedies would have greater impact. If things were going badly it was probably going to get worse, until the ruling Death-god got bored with me. Until I realized that this cruel Deity was my own reflection empowered by self-loathing, I could not find Gomu (God of my Understanding), the loving God I could trust enough to remove the panic button and accept life on life’s terms.
PICTURE SOURCE: Abby Kroke Photography – “Monster in the Mirror”